well time to talk about shit now, I fucking how I can't be happy why the fuck can I not be happy. I have so much good shit in my life but all I think about is just killing myself and find life so fucking meaningless. I have good friends,I have a good job, but all of this bullshit goes back to my ex who the fuck I can't get out of my head. My life feels so fucking miserable because of her. Why the fuck did she have to do this to be and have to fucking ruin my life. Why did I have to love her. Why did she come into my life if she knew this would happen. Why do I love her so much still. I drink the pain away, I have cut myself, I cry the fucking time like I just wanna kill myself now. Why did I have to be born why me.